Just Another Day

Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again

Sometimes I don't even know what am i doing with my life until it's already done. Even right now, I was in a great deal of dilemma over a simple choice, or so it seemed to be. I thought i could shut down the logic off for this one.. Damn, soon it's all come to a simpler question. Is it worth it? The ans is even simpler. But something tells me to defy the rules and command the brain to shut down, relax and take it slow. Its always better to talk over somethings that's off the books, but then I never have been good in that field :P

I wish for once people could be truthful with their feelings and come directly and speak up. When I don't hide anything. I dont expect anybody to hide anything.

Only last week I was engaged in developing an app on Android, not worth saying cause it dint actually run on my phone :P and today, just remembered the lines from Thomas Wayne.. "We fall to get up"  Dude, nobody told me falling was so damn difficult in first place :P Why to even fall when to you know you can get up by an alternate way.. There always been a way out. And yes, the outcome always depends on oneself. So hereby on, I'm gonna take control over what's to follow up. People say, I aint mature. To them I would say.. Whoever got far being mature? ;) Maturity is just a vague word which is forceful massacre of childhood :P So we should just have fun of life.. as it comes to us.. :)

Sit back, Enjoy...... The show's about to begin ;)

And Life goes on.....

This post dedicated to someone special who inspired to write one ;)

You really surprise me Minnie. :P Yea, cute name.. aye? ;) Knowing more about you makes me think less about myself. You seem soo familiar even being so far, I'm actually surprised but to tell you directly would make me more uncomfortable maybe :P Don't take as this as one of those confessions cause it's not. Just that you're the most interesting person I've lately met. ;) hope we stay perfect frnds forever :-)

It's been Bengali New Year yesterday, not to mention, I'm bengali :) :)Truly speaking, I've not been getting time to share my views on life lately. Now that I'm here let me tell ya'll a small story. :) For the sake of our story, lets name the guy as "Tony" and the girl as "Pep". You'll must 've thought of it already that this is gonna be the same boring love story type :P sorry to disappoint ya'll, it's not a love story at all :P at least not with those happy love story.

I think it was early spring when Tony first saw Pep. Caught eye on first sight. started getting started with small talks and slowly small chats on Facebook turned into something deeper within. But tony got to know about pep's liking towards someone else(one of his friend), though the case was vice- versa. Still he continued the friendship but maintained the distance in fear of getting too close and getting hurt later. Time rolled by and pep moved in a relationship which of course didn't last long but that took her mind off from the term "relationship" and she decided never to get committed again. Not knowing and trying to close now that pep's single again, tony proposed her one fine auspicious afternoon. Tony, who never before proposed anyone mustered up his courage and of course his few friends who knew about his crush supported him in his act, prepared a long and super romantic speech in his mind, though after seeing pep he forgot all about it and went on to say directly about his liking towards her. Pep, in her normal lovely voice explained her least interest towards tony and agreed on staying friends only. Tony though being disheartened thought at least pep's concerned about him and started texting and chatting more with her. Time rolled by and of course, someone said very accurately, Time changes many things and so it did for pep as she lately started admiring someone else and disappointed as tony got. There's this time when tony asked pep out and she kept denying. Only after a certain period of time tony got know that pep's seeing someone else. But then one day pep suddenly wanted to go out with tony and tony was more than delighted. But as it would seem, pep was trying to get clear from his mind and cornered him out. Only if tony knew what pep was like before, he never would set his heart on her. Pep  Maybe Tony still likes pep, but that feeling is not likely to come back. Toy can be may things but he's not fickle minded like pep. He knew what he wanted and he was so sure about it that he turned down all other girls for her. Poor tony, now it would seem to be an end to his feelings for pep or they likely to revive? Tony dunno about his future but one thing that he knows is.. Never to set heart for someone or he will undoubtedly get hurt. Pep..

Only if you knew how highly tony thought of you, how much he respected you, never judged you, never for once thought you to be the wrong one, sacrificed his self- ego and pride which he thinks of more importance than his own life.. only if you knew all this.. maybe you would 've understood what it feels like to actually "love" someone.. "Tony's not good boy if he don't give importance to pep and when pep takes tony for granted, its absolutely fine. What a world.. isn't it?

Tony is still stupid enough to wait for her even though he knows she's bothered about him. Tony never breaks his promises and he did promise pep that he'll wait for her.

The above story has lil or no resemblance with anyone alive :P Just the usual disclaimer for those who think too much to relate with someone they know ;)

savvy??  ;) :P :D

What's wrong.. :/

Sometimes all this seems so awkward.. so meaningless.. so very disappointing.. Its like talking to myself with none to even hear out.. I dunno what am i doin.. i dunno why doing the things I'm doin.. I thought if i just went on doing stuffs that doesn't concern anymore even that.. maybe everybody'll forgive me and evrything 'll be set to ryt.. everything else 'll fall in its place and there won't be anythin to worry bout.. guess m wrong there too.. Man, I'm at the verge of this mental breakdown and i dunno how to handle it even..

I dunno why's it happening. If only knew the reason for it.. I'm doin stuffs that i wanted to do more likely during this puja break.. that's ryt.. It's happening during durga puja n that's even more disheartening to me :(

That's my dad at some pandal in Durgapur :)

There's my mom n pisi n cousin(Lita) at some pandal in Durgapur

I went out to Durgapur..

The Marconi pandal of Durgapur which really got grasp of artwork here :)

 met ol' cousins Nil and jeet da.. had nice follow through down the line  then burnpur and then asansol.. and then back dhanbad.. waiting out in harna..

That's the harna bagan colony pandal

 meeting ol' friends. childhood friends, Sobhit and Ravi makes me happy to share stories and memories with em.. It's cool hanging out with them :) but still somehow it doesn't feel ryt.. I'm watching prison break(actually completed it), and How I Met Your Mother like stuffs and laughin out. Eating out golgappas n ice creams and cold drinks on a roll.. Dad's letting spend money without questioning.. and yet, something deoens't feel ryt. It's biting me so hard to know that i dunno what's wrong in me :/ I dunno if it's someone M missing or something but damn its making  me soo irritated.. and i can;t even define the feeling of how it feels :(

I decided on going out today again with hanging around in hirapur only with arnab n all.. But still.. somehow somewhere I'm worn down.. If only someone can return me back my excited all along face. if only somewhere to rescue me out of this breakdown. if only could someone else understand me completely and let it out the correct solution. if only someone just be with me.. and hear out what's wrong with me.....

Somethin Missin..

Yea.. Somethin was defiantly missing with my theory and architecture. and those are that i totally ignored the facts of paging and all from it. Damn me. How can I even forget that. Anyways, I'll get back to it to as soon as i figure out a way to add into it and that's the good news. :)
My internals got over today. Not too good cause i didn't study for it at all :P and the stuffs studied didn't came :p So it's like a break for me from rest stuffs and nothin else. Now that it's over, my friends are goin back their homes. I got a reservation on 13th so can't even move till then :P As it got over, I went out with friends and hung around this town and only to return room and find some really undesirable attitude from my roommate for something i didn't even mean to happen. He realizes sooner the better.
Anyways, that's not even the biggest problem in my life to consider about. More complicated stuffs lie around while I speak of like stuffs that I can't even blog about :P Family censored :P lolz

I'll get back now when i get any breakthrough new idea about my data security architecture :)